Me right now

I have a lot of aspirations. They used to be all about having a good time but as I've grown up so have they. Now I aspire to have a good marriage, be a good friend, be accomplished at work whilst building my own creative business, live artfully and intelligently, have a healthy and enjoyable pregnancy and eventually be the best mummy I can be. I often fall short. Case in point - the last few weeks. Work has been full on. Normally this would be great. I like to be challenged and I thrive in a busy environment. I've worked hard over the last few years to be in the position I'm in. But all of a sudden I can.not.hack.it. I come home in a daze unable to focus on The List. Oh yes, The List - the normal domestic chores and the tonne of sorting and organising that comes with accommodating a baby, the redesigning, restocking and remaking of jewellery, the orders I need to fulfill, the upkeep of my blog, the unanswered emails etc etc. The List is unending and overwhelming, and full of hormones, after a sleepless night, and a hard days work, I just can't seem do any of it. All I want to do is watch trash TV, eat toast and have a cuddle. So that's what I've been doing. I feel like a failure but I know it's the right thing to do. And that's me right now. Things are improving. We spent a relaxing weekend in the midlands with Matt's parents, being spoilt rotten, and this week has been better for it. I'm gradually de-stressing. I've been working on some new jewellery designs, this picture is a little sneak peek. More to come soon. I'm getting there, slowly. We made it to the third trimester. Quite a milestone I think. More on that later too. But for now the bank holiday weekend stretches ahead of us and I'm going to enjoy it. Have a good one!